To my clients
It may be helpful to tell you how I work as a therapist. As a therapist, I strive to be challenging and direct, but not judgemental; warm, open minded, and willing to let people explore options in life; careful to not rush to diagnose and pathologize; and deeply respectful of the intricacies of the human condition.
The first thing you need to know is that the goal of the therapist is to help you help yourself. The therapist's greatest pleasure and reward is to see you go back to the business of life more confident of your ability to take care of your problems, trusting your judgment and intuition.
Therapy should be helpful and efficient, and thus, as brief and as unintrusive as possible to your normal life. The therapist is not the healer. You are! The therapists' job is to activate and facilitate your own healing mechanism and your personal agency.
The therapist will learn about you by listening very carefully to everything you say and asking questions to find out what got you stuck. Most important, the therapist will search with you for ways to get you unstuck and to facilitate the necessary shift or change.
Although the therapist will be available and be by your side whenever and as long as necessary, your job is to make the therapist obsolete as soon as possible. End therapy as soon as you feel that the problem is solved or that you can manage on your own.
You are here because you want to stop the pain and regain hope. Talk with your therapist about joys as much as sorrow, about solutions as much as problems. Therapy is not a place only to complain and blame. You may have come to therapy because you feel helpless. Do not make therapy a place to do more of the same things that made you feel badly. Therapy is a place to change, take charge, regain hope, and solve problems.